Your jokes here

[wildnthewind]

You know you are a 100% Oklahoman if:

1. You can properly pronounce Eufaula, Gotebo, Okemah, and Chickasha.

2. You think that people who complain about the wind in their states are

sissies.

3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look
for

a funnel.


4. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on
the
highway.

5. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

6. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by
the
distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.

7. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.

8. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.

9. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.

10. You measure distance in minutes. ("I'm about 5 minutes away.")

11. You refer to the capital of Oklahoma as "The City."

12. It doesn't bother you to use an airport named for a man who died in
an
airplane crash.

13. Little Smokies are something you serve only for special occasions.

14. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.

15. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.

16. You know cowpies are not made of beef.

17. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding
date.

18. You have known someone who has had one belt buckle bigger than your
fist.

19. A bad traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at a
four-way stop, each determined to be the most polite and let the other
go
first.

20. You know in which state "Miam-uh" is and in which state "Miam-ee"
is.

21. You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all
in
the same store.

22. Your "place at the lake" has wheels under it.

23. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F350 4x4 is.

24. You know everything goes better with Ranch.

25. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.

26. You actually get these jokes and are "fixin" to send them to your
friends..

27. Finally, you are 100% Oklahoman if you have ever heard this
conversation:

"You wanna Coke?"
"Yeah."
"What kind?"
"Dr. Pepper."


[img]tongue.gif[/img]

[ellanoize]

Oh Lordy, I got enough right, I think I got some Oklahoman in me...Yeee Hawww! [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[cherrysmum]

hahahhahaha....love the last one the best...hahahha

[cherrysis]

OHHHHH RIGHTY WILD As a true blue OKIE I will admit to

1. You can properly pronounce Eufaula, Gotebo, Okemah, and Chickasha.

2. You think that people who complain about the wind in their states are
sissies.

3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look
for

a funnel.

5. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

6. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by
the
distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.

7. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.

12. It doesn't bother you to use an airport named for a man who died in
an
airplane crash.

13. Little Smokies are something you serve only for special occasions.

15. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.

16. You know cowpies are not made of beef.

18. You have known someone who has had one belt buckle bigger than your
fist.

19. A bad traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at a
four-way stop, each determined to be the most polite and let the other
go
first.

20. You know in which state "Miam-uh" is and in which state "Miam-ee"
is.

21. You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all
in
the same store.

22. Your "place at the lake" has wheels under it.

23. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F350 4x4 is.

24. You know everything goes better with Ranch.

26. You actually get these jokes and are "fixin" to send them to your
friends..

27. Finally, you are 100% Oklahoman if you have ever heard this
conversation:

"You wanna Coke?"
"Yeah."
"What kind?"
"Dr. Pepper."


NAd for the record its
YOU Fall A
Goat Bo
O Key MA
Chick a shay....

My fav is Number 3 cause every Okie Does that...sirens blare and the whole neighborhood looks like a block party!!!

[ellanoize]

** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.

The waitress asks for their orders.

The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours"?
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later, the waitress returns with the order.

"That will be $9.40 please," she says and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries, and a coke."
The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again later in the week.

"The usual"? asks the waitress.

"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad," says the man.

"Same," says the ostrich.

Shortly, the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer.

"Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time"?

"Well," says the man, "several years ago, I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a genie appeared and offered me two wishes.

My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress.

"Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "But what's with the ostrich"?

The man sighs and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."

[ellanoize]

A doctor at an (insane) asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well.

As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up nuts!"

And the inmates complied by standing up. After the anthem he yelled, "Down nuts!" And they all sat.

After a home run he yelled, "Cheer nuts!" And they all broke into applause and cheers.

Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge.

When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked what happened.

The assistant replied, "Well...everything was fine until some guy walked by and yelled, "PEANUTS!"

[Forbidden Passions]

Those are great Rog*LMAO

[ellanoize]

It is worth the time posting them, if at least one of them causes a smile.

[ellanoize]

Two guys are walking through the woods and came across this big deep hole.

"Wow...that looks deep." "Sure does... toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is."

They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait... no noise "Jeeez. That is REALLY deep... here.. throw one of these great big rocks down there. Those should make a noise."

They pick up a couple football-sized rocks and toss them into the hole and wait... and wait. Nothing.

They look at each other in amazement. One gets a determined look on his face and says, "Hey...over here in the weeds, there's a railroad tie. Help me carry it over here. When we toss THAT sucker in, it's GOTTA make some noise."

The two drag the heavy tie over to the hole and heave it in. Not a sound comes from the hole.

Suddenly, out of the nearby woods, a goat appears, running like the wind. It rushes toward the two men, then right past them, running as fast as it's legs will carry it. Suddenly it leaps in the air and into the hole.

The two men are astonished with what they've just seen... Then, out of the woods comes a farmer who spots the men and ambles over.

"Hey... you two guys seen my goat out here?"

"You bet we did! Craziest thing I ever seen! It came running like crazy and just jumped into this hole!"

"Nah", says the farmer, "That couldn't have been MY goat. My goat was chained to a railroad tie."

[Forbidden Passions]

poor goat*LMAO